Archives for posts with tag: poem

Shadowside

We’ve been bound forever, my shadow and me, through hellish dark depths and sharp, soaring glee.

Where I go, she follows. We’re never apart.
Dogged, determined, she blackens my heart.

In the glare of the spotlight, she grows stronger still, ’til I become shadow, bent to her will;
A puppet, strung up, helpless and weak – my shadow controlling, I’m passive and meek.

But one day I know, I’m bound to be free, to walk in the sunlight.
Alone. Only me.

My shadow abandoned, imprisoned in gloom, with no-one to torture, no space in my room.

I will run free, chased by the sun, my spirit alive, my soul on the run.

But your cruelty’s familiar as breath is to me. And without all your dark, would I notice the glee?

If I chase you away, will I be on my own? No contrast, no texture, as pale as old bone.

Until I steal courage to enter the light, to take that last step, to conquer and fight,
until then cruel shadow my friend and my foe, we’ll go on together, a two woman show.

Partial harpy, partial drudge.
My mind is mud, turgid sludge.
In vicious turmoil, churning round.
My mind can’t hear, there’s too much sound.

I don’t like this me,
I’m not how I like to be,
I’m needle sharp, rough and raw,
It seems you are my fatal flaw

Sunk in quicksand, sucking mire
head so cold, heart on fire
Paralysed by poisoned appetite
It’s you I want, it’s me I spite

There’s a hole in my chest where my heart used to be and I’m trying to fathom what happened to me.

Your wolf’s words dressed up like a lamb did so cheat,
And you softened me up like tenderized meat.

And hard tho I tried to block out the din
Of the harsh little words from the voices within,
I cannot ignore, avoid or pretend
That I didn’t suspect our idyll would end.

I weep from the loss, the precipitous drop,
and I’m breathless and hopeless and fear I can’t stop.

I’ve never been good in the hands of defeat,
so I’m hiding out here in my mawkish retreat

But I can’t run away from the idea of you,
and I need to stop feeling the way that I do

I need to face facts and set myself free but there’s a hole in my chest where my heart used to be